Kayla Meets Her Sister, And Family
I never considered myself an orphan until my trip to Burundi last fall. Ten days into the trip I had the opportunity to meet Helene, the widow I sponsor through Sister Connection. The day was hot, as most days are in the city of Bujumbura. As I entered the Sister Connection office, I went around the room shaking the hand of each person and saying "amahoro (peace)," as is customary in Burundi.
The small office was overflowing with widows, sponsors, and Sister Connection staff. I sat on a couch with my gift for Helene and looked around the hot, stuffy room trying to identify her. I have a picture of Helene next to my computer at home, but with so many women in this room I couldn’t single her out from the group.
Other team members met their "sisters" first, and it was an incredible experience watching them come together. This was the first time they had actually met, but it was like they had known each other for years. The connection was unmistakable.
Then my name was called and I was introduced to Helene. As I worked my way toward her, a flood of emotions came over me -- joy, apprehension, excitement—but also a strange fear that I would be rejected. After giving Helene a hug, I handed her the gift I’d brought from home. It was a wood carving of a woman, and I briefly explained the "blessing" symbolism behind it. I especially wanted Helene to know how blessed I felt to be her sponsor.
At that moment a quiet pause settled over the room. A team member then said "Kayla, why don’t you tell them your story?" My eyes went wide with confusion because my story seemed unimportant compared to the struggles these women have gone through. Francine, our translator, further encouraged me to share, saying that it would mean a lot to the women. Shaking, I fought back my tears as I looked around the room, and saw all the warm eyes looking at me. The expressions of love and acceptance on the faces of these widows told me this was a safe place to share my story.
"I am an orphan," I said softly. This was the first time I’d described myself in this way. "My mother died a couple of years ago when I was 18 and my father abandoned me around the same time. I now live on my own. I have many struggles in my life, and there are times when I want to give up, but I just keep going."
When the translator finished my last sentence, the room fell silent. A widow named Pascasie stood up after a moment and said "How could a father leave such a beautiful daughter?" Her face was beaming as she added, "It's okay, Jesus is your Father now and he will take care of you!" As I looked around the room, all the women had tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces. The tears I’d been holding back started rolling down my face.
For the first time, I experienced a sense of peace about my mother’s death and my father’s abandonment. The women in the room said many encouraging words that day, words that have given me inspiration ever since. One woman said, "It means a lot to know that an orphan is sponsoring a widow and other orphans!" She said that it gave her hope for herself and her children. Another woman said "I feel sad for you and will remember you in my prayers." Her words blew me away. Most of these women had lost their husbands to genocide and war, experiencing devastating hardships for many years. Yet she felt bad for me!
As I prepared to leave that afternoon, instead of the customary farewell handshakes, I was pulled into the arms of each widow. Amidst our tears and affectionate hugs I suddenly realized that I’d been accepted into their big, loving family. What an amazing moment that was…that day will always be my favorite day in Burundi.
Kayla Costa
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